Parenting – a continuous rollercoaster that often tests our composure, especially when the pressure is on. You might have believed that patience is the secret sauce, but actually…let’s set the record straight – it’s not just about patience.
Ever caught yourself thinking, “I just need to be more patient”? Well, here’s the scoop – it’s not about patience; it’s about power. Yes, the missing piece of the puzzle is a different P-word: POWER. Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean that we need to overpower our children, ruling with an iron fist. I mean that we need to step into our leadership power, in order to get more cooperation in a calm way. Here’s how.
Two Key Strategies to Master Calm Parenting:
1. Empower Your Kids in the Right Way
When you know how to get more cooperation from your kids, you are less likely to start yelling. Right?!
Well, here is a key tool to get more cooperation, without more effort – understand what truly motivates a child to be more cooperative: POWER.
Kids want power in this world, and that’s perfectly normal. If we are just bossing them around most of the day with repeated requests, or reminders, we are likely to get pushback, and when we get pushback, we are likely to start loosing our patience. Instead, we can stop this whole downward spiral by using more effective parenting tools. There are many suggestions in my podcast and other blog articles, but here is just 1 tool: Make a plan in advance that helps the child know how they can have power in a situation.
For example:
A. Let your child know that they can have 30 min. of screen time AS SOON AS… (the backpack is unpacked, and coats are hung up), or
B. Let your child know she is welcome to have the freedom to go to a friend’s house AS SOON AS… (the room is cleaned up, or the dishwasher is unloaded).
2. Step into Your Power as a Mom:
It’s time to embrace your authority with confidence and compassion, especially when faced with hitting, harming, or screaming. Remember, “We need to hold more firmness in order to be able to keep our kindness.” Setting clear and consistent boundaries allows you to maintain your composure while guiding your child through challenging moments.
Parenting isn’t just a test of patience; it’s about understanding the power dynamics at play. By empowering your kids strategically and stepping into your own power as a mom, you can navigate the ups and downs with grace. Make a plan, hold your firmness, and watch how these two simple shifts transform your calm parenting journey.
If you’d like more personalized guidance, contact Flora today.
