Episode 63 | Sustainable Parenting | Flora McCormick, LCPC
0:04 – Stress Solutions for Parents
8:43 – Ending Bedtime Battles and Morning Chaos
Setting Clear Expectations decrease Power Struggles
Summer can be a wonderful time, but it can also bring extra stress for parents. By focusing on five key areas, you can make your summer smoother and more enjoyable. These tips will help reduce stress and power struggles, giving you more time to relax by the pool or in the backyard with a good book. If your goal is to create a peaceful, easier summer for your family, I believe this gives you an easy road to get there. When you do a bit of preparation in advance, it makes a world of difference to save time in “putting out fires.” So take a look at these 5 ways of managing expectations with your kids.
Why Making Agreements in Advance Matters
Why do agreements in advance matter? It might seem like telling your kids what to do should be enough, but it often doesn’t work that way. When you make agreements ahead of time, it’s not about asking for permission. Instead, it’s about being clear on how they can earn privileges and freedoms. If they are responsible with their choices, they get more freedom. If not, they get less. (In Sustainable Parenting, I like to call that “2 roads”).
When kids know what to expect, they tend to make better choices, and that’s how setting agreements in advance helps create a smoother, more predictable day with your kids. And if you are thinking – “I don’t want to bribe my kids,” I want to be clear that this isn’t about bribes. It’s being clear about the rules in different areas of life, and then the results if they make happy/wise choices regarding those rules. Ie. If you handle turning off the iPad when we agreed to turn it off, you still get the iPad tomorrow again for 30 min. If not, then you don’t get the iPad tomorrow.” For more on that, check out this article on effective consequences.
How to Set Clear Expectations or Agreements in Advance in 5 Key Areas:
1. Toys
Let’s talk about toys. Making clear agreements about how to handle toys can help a lot. For example:
- “Before starting a new activity, the previous one needs to be cleaned up. This can help when kids are eager to run outside but need to put away their board games first.”
- The same goes for outdoor toys like bikes. “If the bike is put away properly, at the end of the day, it will be available the next day. If I have to put it away because I find it in the driveway after you are asleep, it will not be available the next day.”
2. Tech
Technology is a big topic, especially in the summer. Many parents worry about tech taking over. Setting limits on tech use can lead to better behavior. But how do you get a break without screens? Think about alternatives like audiobooks, cooking together, or creative activities like Play-Doh, sidewalk chalk, or crafts. Even audiobooks, which use some technology, are a good middle ground. Be clear about your tech expectations: maybe an hour of cartoons in the morning or tech-free weekends. Having these rules in place helps reduce power struggles and keeps things consistent. For more on this, check out “How to Limit Screen Time for Kids (Ages 5-12)”.
3. Treats
Treats can also be managed with clear agreements. Kids might want to grab snacks all day or ask for popsicles right after breakfast. You can agree on things like:
“We can have 1 popsicles only after lunch”. This way, you won’t get asked for them all day long. Also, decide which snacks are always available and which are for special times, like sodas only with meals. By setting these boundaries, you won’t have to say “no” as often, and kids will know what to expect. This makes treat time more fun and less stressful.
4. Morning Routine
If you would like more help with morning routine and how you get out the door, feel free to check out episode 20, “3 Ways to Calm Morning Chaos”.
5. Evening Routine
To dive deeper into what you can do to help your night times go better, please check out episode 14, “The Secret to Ending Bedtime Battles”.
By setting clear agreements in advance for toys, tech, treats, morning routines, and evening routines, you can enjoy a more relaxed and happy summer. These tips help create a predictable and peaceful environment, giving everyone a sense of what to expect. This approach allows for more quality time spent together, whether it’s by the pool, reading a good book, or simply enjoying each other’s company. The goal is to make summer a joyful and stress-free time for your family. Use these summer parenting hacks to create a smoother, more enjoyable summer for you and your loved ones.
If you’d like more personalized guidance, contact Flora today.
