
What is an Affirmation?
Affirmations are positive statements that help us and our kids think in a more uplifting way about who we are and what we can do. They can offer a sense of encouragement and confidence. However, it’s important to keep them balanced, so they don’t feel forced or even a form of “Toxic Positivity“. We can use affirmations to project a positive view of our child and their strengths while also staying mindful of the challenges they might face.
3 Key Tips to Remember on Using Affirmations
1. Keeping It Real – Avoiding Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity is when we say things that are overly positive and ignore real feelings or challenges. It can sound like, “You can do anything you set your mind to,” without considering that sometimes things don’t go as planned. Instead, we can use affirmations that acknowledge both the good and the tough moments, helping our children feel more supported and understood. For example, you might say, “Even when things are hard, you are strong and can handle it.” This helps your child feel confident without feeling pressured to always be perfect.
2. Meaningful Praise – Giving Character-Based Feedback
Instead of just saying “good job,” try noticing specific positive behaviors and character traits in your child. This makes your feedback more meaningful and projects that positive character trait even bigger in their internal view of who they are. You could say things like:
- “That was really kind how you shared your toys with your brother,”
- “I love how creative you were when you solved that puzzle.”
- “That was so thoughtful, how you put away your shoes that were in the hall.”
Using words like kind, creative, generous or thoughtful helps your child see their actions as the building blocks of their amazing character. It’s a gentle way to encourage their growth and helps them feel proud of who they are.
3. From Our Voices to Theirs: Creating Mantras Kids Will Embrace
Starting simple mantras with your child can be a fun and positive way to build their confidence. For younger children, short phrases like:
- “I am strong and brave. I can do hard things.”
- “I am kind and caring.”
- “I can take a breath and start again.”
- “Mistakes are wonderful opportunities to learn.” (Read more about how we can model this behavior here)
As they get older, you can create longer ones, like:
- “I am calm, I am wise, I can handle what comes my way.”
- “I am kind and caring with my words and actions.”
You can even come up with mantras that fit your child’s personality or what you hope to nurture in them, like bravery or patience. The more they hear these words, the more they begin to believe them, and eventually, they’ll start saying them to themselves.
Affirmations are a gentle way to help your child feel more confident and connected to who they are. Small steps like these can create a lasting impact, helping your child feel strong, capable, and proud of who they are.
As a side note, this is one of my favorite poems that is a great internal affirmation.
It Couldn’t Be Done
Somebody said that it couldn’t be done
But he with a chuckle replied
That “maybe it couldn’t,” but he would be one
Who wouldn’t say so till he’d tried.
So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin
On his face. If he worried he hid it.
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn’t be done, and he did it!
Somebody scoffed: “Oh, you’ll never do that;
At least no one ever has done it;”
But he took off his coat and he took off his hat
And the first thing we knew he’d begun it.
With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,
Without any doubting or quiddit,
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn’t be done, and he did it.
There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,
There are thousands to prophesy failure,
There are thousands to point out to you one by one,
The dangers that wait to assail you.
But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,
Just take off your coat and go to it;
Just start in to sing as you tackle the thing
That “cannot be done,” and you’ll do it.
If you’d like more personalized guidance, contact Flora today.