Yearly archive for 2019

Parenting: Same Page With Your Spouse

Parenting “on the same page” with your spouse can dramatically improve feeling more effective and empowered in your parenting.  Unfortunately, many parents get stuck among communication obstacles and are not on the same page with one another.  Here are some tools to help you out.  Take time to make agreements together on family rules.  If you are noticing frequent struggles at dinnertime, bedtime, out-the-door time, etc., take time together to create some expectations/boundaries, so you are in agreement.  Then share those boundaries with your child.  For more details on how to do this, see my blog on Setting Boundaries with Young Children. Always back each other up in front of your children. If your partner does something you don’t agree

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Boundaries

Imagine if you walked into your first day at a new job and told to “Do a good job”, but nothing further.  Imagine you were given: no clear boundaries or expectations about what criteria defines doing a “good job” only corrective feedback when you didn’t do a “good job”. ie “That was not okay! Don’t do that!” How would you feel each day at work? I imagine you would be quite frustrated.  Some people would shut down and not try anything, while others might scream and throw a fit.  Others might just try all day to see what you could get away with before getting in “trouble”.  This is how our children feel when we don’t define boundaries for them. 

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When will they ever learn?!

Our family

A parent asked me in a recent workshop, “When can we expect them to KNOW what we are teaching them? When do they get it?” As I have been reminded A LOT in the last month, young children require a lot of parenting to learn how to be respectful, responsible, and fun to be around.  This lesson seems to be one I have to learn again and again…and again! It’s as thought I go into each day wishing that today will be the day that my children just “get it”, and don’t need my reminder and responses to teach them.  Unfortunately, that is not a very realistic (or helpful) way to approach each day – especially with a 3 and

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